King For A Day

Book an appointment at the mother—make that the father—of all barber shops.

By:

Skip Kaltenheuser

I felt a little sheepish, a little self-conscious, a little embarrassed when I entered Austin’s El Rey, “The King,” a gentleman’s spa that offers far more than a clip.

But I soon learned that the female professional groomers at the club don’t spruce you up like a show dog, but instead restore you, like a vintage sports car, with a good wax and shine. I still worried that when all was said and done, I’d feel I squandered time.

In the end, management probably wondered if they’d need to call a S.W.A.T. team to get me out. I had thoroughly acclimated to the style to which I’d like to become accustomed.

Reviving Barber Shop Memories

Some of us, reaching into the way-back machine, remember the barber shop ritual: guys sitting around talking about politics or the Saturday Night Fights. You may even remember your mom leaving you amid the men—in air flavored by the occasional cigar, a spritz of this or that—with magazines you don’t see at home. It took the edge off a clarinet lesson. Today, many men go to a unisex assembly line for the 6-minute lawn mower treatment, occasionally shooting pool angle glances through multiple mirrors to see the opposite sex trying to relax in mixed company, their hair shown to its worst advantage.

Clint Campbell created a total contrast in mood at El Rey Club. One of the first 75 employees of Dell computer, Campbell, 52, served as chief financial officer and became one of the “Dellionaires” and, eventually, a venture capitalist. At his spa, heavy iron gates and wood doors give way to a hallway that feels like a centuries-old Mediterranean alley. The lounge features a blown- up 1947 photo of a dapper-looking man, whiskey in hand, in a classy-looking Galveston joint called the “Mermaid Bar.” He’s Campbell’s dad, defining the atmosphere El Rey strives for. Leather furniture, dark woods and the artfully attended bar remove all trace of the deli that once occupied the space.

Members order dry sauce barbecue and Mexican cuisine sometimes brought in for a buffet. Walls are papered with flat-screen TVs, muted so the place never blares like a sports bar and patrons can easily loose themselves in a book or, horrors, work.

Occasionally a father shares the classic barber experience with his son. But often the the goal is singular escape, with music, the plasma TV or a nap.

The male bar, valet and locker room staff and the women providing the facials, straightedge shaves, haircuts, manicures, pedicures, massages, hot mud on the spine and other services are good conversationalists. These pros’ enjoyment of their work and rapport with clients add to the pleasure of being pampered.

Patrons can have errands run, bring in a tailor, have shoes shined or their car detailed. “Basically, you can sit on your can and relax while having the satisfaction of accomplishing many of life’s necessities,” says Campbell, who is exploring similar facilities in other markets.

Male Indulgence

Broadway’s “Sweeny Todd” plays in my head when I see a straight edge. I was a little anxious as the blade, wielded by a lively gal who races motorcycles for recreation, did that tricky upstroke below the lower lip and then danced beneath my nose. But my angular, hard-to-shave mug emerged smoother than it’s ever been. After sitting my Cosmopolitan aside, I lost consciousness during the facial. The hand and foot massages during the pedicure and manicure linger in my mind.

In the locker room, I contemplated nostalgic touches like the 1930 Boris O’Klein etchings of naughty Parisian dogs that hang over black, floor-length, ice-filled urinals. The showers and steam room are the best I’ve used.

There is networking going on, to be sure, but it’s low-key. Campbell says the club doesn’t even publish a roster of its members, with numbers floating between 150 and 200. Friendly card games are rumored, and after closing, a Caribbean cigar might be seen. To quash any rumors of pole-dancing behind the scenes, on Friday nights women can accompany members to the lounge for drinks. Concerned about keeping members in motion, too, El Rey has a friendly connection with nearby Runtex, www.runtex.com, a famed running goods store. The operation’s Paul Carrozza, who’s been a running guru for luminaries including President Bush, deftly sized up my foot, picked out my optimum shoe and gave a discourse on working back into motion without injury. Some El Rey members work in a run as prelude to a steam and/or treatment.

Sitting in the El Rey lounge looking through the blinds onto an Austin street, I felt ensconced in an urban oasis. If any of my ships battling giant squids on the horizon ever come in, this is one of the few indulgences that would tempt me on a regular basis.

Opened in November of 2005, Austin’s El Rey Club isn’t for those caught short by a sub-prime loan. Members’ monthly expenditures average $400-$500. Requirements include a monthly fee of $150, half that for junior members 21-26, and monthly minimum expenditure of $150. The club offers one-day membership packages that start at $300. Call 512-472-5858 or visit www.elreyclub.com.

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